Rewatched the finale of Merlin
…like why do I even do these things?
I am not going to let anyone make me feel inferior. I am not going to let the actions of anyone dictate what I can and can’t do. I am not going to let competitiveness, jealousy, and lack of self-confidence dictate my life.
Every time I close myself driving down a never-ending road under a wide open sky. I see myself crossing state lines, trekking up mountains, swimming in oceans…
…and I open them to see the same rainy, sleepy, town I’ve been in for the past 10 months…and my hear hurts. Life isn’t meant to be lived in one place.
Yet you still take my silence as something angry and passive aggressive. I’m not twelve anymore; I don’t throw temper tantrums when I don’t get my way. Why is it that every time I don’t respond to a text or I give a vague response I am instantly attacked by my own family? Every time it’s, “you’re such a brat. You’re so selfish.” Or it’s, “you’re hateful. Stop this shitty attitude. You’re pushing everyone away.” Notice when I’m upset with you I don’t bring up past things you’ve done that we’ve moved past?
You’re going to wake-up some day and realize you haven’t heard from me in months. It’s not going to because of a temper tantrum I’m having. It’s going to be because you pushed me away.
but seeing pictures of you with your girlfriend while I sit at home feeling lonely make me sad. And nostalgic. What if we weren’t so young when we met?